don't think.

Its hard being myself sometimes.

I am an over certified worrier. So over certified, im the only person in the known existance to be 5 mins early for an appointment. How many of "mes" out there still exist?

Anyway thats not the point.

The thing about regrets are that we overthink stuff, planning worse case scenarios and measuring pros and cons and generally running rings about ourselves until the chance given to us is over before we could make an executive decision. And that is probably why everyone has regrets in their lives.

....

We could put a stop to this right now. ( madonna live earth jingle in bckgrd)

*dies laughing at cringeness*

God i hate that lousy song. So yes, if all of could just stop panicking about making a right choice and just go do it we might be very pleasantly surprised. And I suppose it all runs down to guts as well. Bravery. the new essential item of the 21st century.

Carpe Diem people. Think Carpe Diem.

*bask in holy white light in jesus paraphenalia and wierd unshaved beard*

human after all.

Walls and fences appear in increasing numbers as we grow older with every fatal step into cynicalism. Growing up means losing purity, innocence and a loss of the protection field our parents try so hard to keep us from being hurt in the world that we live in. Well. in my case, parent anyway.

So we learn self defence in the form barridication ( if there is even such a word. i noe. I tend to do this often.). Bite, and bite back. Following the footsteps of countless people losing hope and trust in each other by becoming less human and jaded. We stop hoping for the better and norminalize hurt. Thereby the fences and walls. It is one evil cycle whereby humans get so caught up with each other that we don't realise we are probably the only ones alone in the friggin milky way.

It only takes one person to hope and believe in everything that we were thought to believe when we were young to make a change- to end this evil cycle. But who has the guts? who would be willing to tear down the fences and walls and allow themselves to be hurt?

Everybody has feelings, no matter how jaded or numb they are inside. i should noe that because I havent leaked a tear in over a decade and something happened today that made me cry. In a good way because i didnt think I was capable of crying anymore.

All it takes is just one person.

ooops i did it again.

so there's a few things i need to get off my chest and here goes.

I HATE BMR I HATE BMR I HATE BMR I HATE BMR I HATE BMR I HATE BMR!!

and i love Ms Ng *muacks*

Kthxsbye.

I Wish...

I am in Oprah Winfrey Mode today but I shan't do all that sieze the day crap and feel like a butthead after posting this entry.

Dreams arent as hard to achieve as compared to taking the first step to achieve it. The first step requires the gut to believe in its realisticality ( if there is even such a word) and half the time the Dream doesnt cross the bridge and morph into Reality is because we just lack the faith in believing in the unknown.

...

That sentence just made me sound like some wierd nerdy freaky science geek. Anyway.

Its because believing makes us persevere and make sacrifices and do things that we never knew that we could do. Like not eating for 14 days on end, or getting a 2 point for O'Lvls and choose to go Laselle instead of RJC. Which brings us to the point that we still need to have enough logical sense to make sure our Dreams arent foolishly impossible. And thats a really fine line.

All of us should fight for our dreams though. Because thats what life is all about isn't it. God sure didnt make half a billion of us on earth to lay about wearing leaves and making out and reproducing faster than the amoebas can morph.

And that's why I am still going to Laselle to take up fashion marketing even if my GPA allows me to get into NUS. Which sldnt happen anytime soon looking at the current state of it.

But never say never. * hur hur*

* sings along to Tata Young and prances away*

and here's a lil smth to prove tt this sem's hasnt been a bore.

Cast of Singcam Remaking a scene. I looked like Gayed -Up Homeless Hobo. T-T

Short Hair! and geeky Pose in Ann Siang Road because geeks are hot. And that shopping makes the world go round.

Say Karma.

And sisters are forever. <3>

some things just can't be helped

I waved to 3 people today in my course whom I don't talk to at all and after that i came to the conclusion that I need to be a little less self centred. Because you can only plaster a smile on for so long before it drips to the ground and splat right back into your face.

No. I am not arrogant. Its the lack of interest in other people that causes the words high horse fucker to ignite on my forehead like a blazing neon sign. So warped, I am, in my little world of emo-ness I ceased to realise that there are other people around taking in the same air I breathe.

But I wouldnt want to wave just for the sake of waving when I don't mean any remote form of good-will at all. Its pointless but everyone does it even if they hate tt person which I do not get. Mind games arent my thing.

I swear God laughs at his own creations every night as he watch us twirl into mindless confusion in a world tainted from the simplicity it once was when all everybody wore was a leaf to cover their you-noe-whats.

To end off this thought dispensing post of the day, I have to say unrequited love sucks. especialli when its forbidden.

ta.

Because its August

I blame BMR for making time pass so fast.

my 18 can be described as unexpectedly morbid. Pushing aside all usual emo-ness away, I experienced what it felt like to lose someone you respect and love for the first time in my life and the 18th century victorian poets werent being over dramatic- at all.

So Tuesday's MRT suicide added to the list of death and morbidity because I happened to be only 4 doors away from the person who jumped on the tracks to kill himself. And I never did noticed that someone metres away from me was seconds from ending his life because I was so caught up with dance. The guilt.

And something happened today that killed my last reason for staying around still. I wonder when it would be my turn to disappear.

Yeah I noe. Im an ungrateful git. shoot me.