Im feeling rather emo at the moment. so for all the non emo ppl out there,you have been warned. This IS an emo entry.

(But just as well really, seeing that i only get emo once in a blue, blue moon and that you are here you might as well read the whole of it.)

(and get a xanax while you're at it...No. make that 6. ready? here goes.)

I had a major fallout with 2 very good friends almost 2 months ago and even though we had kissed and made up the previous month (we cold-warred for almst a mth) things just became worse when i realized that the person I took for a "best friend" was really somebody I hadnt known for almost four years that I had known X for. The squabble just shredded the linen of deception of the person X really was, plus with the toil of time which we were seperated what with X going to JC and me ending up in Poly, things that had been pushed under the carpet for too long just toppled like a stack of cards.

Snap and it was down. K.O.

The worse thing is, that had exactly happened in Primary School. But we wont go into that. Way too corny as it is and im certainly not here to earn my share of brownie pts in sympathy.

It is very very sad. to know someone for 4 years and to actually allow myself hope that this person would be my best pal for life to just turn around, flip off the Winnie the Pooh mask and face you looking like Cruella De Vil. ( bad imaginary, sorry)

It isnt so much the unveiling of a second person that i thot I knew that makes me so sad. It is the hope that i foolishly allowed myself to have, and to be wasted like that yet again.

and it makes me a person that I dont want to be. Cynical, suspicious and a fear of human relationships that just seems to be clutching its hold on me, spiralling me down neverendingly until I completely morph into an anti-social freak.

and that has happened alrd. Look at me. distancing myself from people and being all fucking polite and boring. i wouldnt have gone near Myself if i landed in the same course as him.

and wearing way to much black for my liking.

but thats hardly the pt.

And being in Poly there is hardly grounds to really get to know another person better and to develop proper friendship. Its pretty much grouping yourself in a survival clique so there are always nice people to do projects with and to have lunch together while eyeing wiryly on the poor person always having to eat their lunch alone and have a hard time finding a project grp.

Perfect example?

Just look at Giraffe and his bitch pal. enuff said i think.

So all in all, i fear that my friendship with X would be the last long lasting one i will ever have in this lifetime. That had been the closest friendship I could ever have to be able to say things like " X and I were best friends ever since we were 13" when Im 78 years old and reminiscing the good ol days to my wide eyed curly haired grand-children.

If i ever have the mortifying urge to marry that is.

Which is to say, Never. ( sorry mom, no fat squabbly grandkiddies for u.)

But thats another story, for another time.

Ahh. =(

**just for kicks.

You Have OK Karma

You try to be a good person... well, sometimes you try! While you are caring deep down, you don't always show it. You're very focused on yourself, and others come second (if not third). Which is fine, but don't expect others to focus on you.

How's Your Karma?

Your Mommy Is Madonna

What You Call Her: Mummy What people say about yo momma: Yo momma teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.

Who's Your Mommy?

yays!~

I have found a Job(s)!!! Thanks to Qian Ru and my Mom's friend I'm going to have the moolahs rolling in all the way till 22nd October.

Thanks Roo!!

***

Today Im going to talk about some of my favourite things. Just Because.

1)Chilli. i need to have at least 3(sticks) of those everyday.I may freak you out when I say this but sometimes when Im hungry and have noth to eat i eat chilli padis. straight from the pack. Mind you thats only on days when I have noth to eat. But isnt that a much better snack then twisties lays and so on? The hotter the better and if my tongue actually falls off then so be it. Even when I am deathly sick i still take Balacan with my bowl of plain porridge. Frankly, i rather die then to live a day without them. Monsieur's Favourite choice of drug.

2)It was a tough choice btw retail therapy and Jpop, but i have to say Jpop. I have been hooked to it since Pri 2 and I certainly dont see it fadding off a whole decade later. More Obsessed, truth be told.So what if i have no idea what they are singing about? so what if some of them dont even look human? and most importantly, so what if their cd cost 80 bucks per album? I rather cut off my ears then to listen to C-pop.

3)2 words: retail.therapy.

4)None of you know this so i would tell u now-I love to run. Jog, sprint, whatever. This may sound awfully cliched but i have always thot that since god hadnt granted me with a pair of wings i have so obviously wanted since age 2 i would just have to sub them with my pair of legs. and that i suppose may also be why i have always been the one of the top 10 runners in my school. *smug*

and just with the good there's always the bad.

1)I hate dirt, uncleaniness and mess of all shapes, sorts and sizes. HATE.

2)People who rush me. The more they rush, the slower i take. pt is to get them so fustrated they turn blue in the face and die of cardiac arrest. yeap.

3)Lack of sleep makes me want to smack anybody i meet and throw food at anyone facing me.

there!

I guess thats another blog entry taken care of.

tata~

2nd bout of good news- I passed my piano exams!

I cannot believe I passed. My sight reading was shite. total pants. keplunked.

Jeezus!

Maybe she loved me. That is the only reason I passed. The only reason I can think of. I tell you. The only reason. my pieces were shite. My scales were shite. my sight reading was like,beyond.

beyond comprehension, that is.

Aural was the only good segment.

and the pass wasnt even like a shite pass. It was in fact, a not bad pass.

thank god for deaf cock screw curls norwegian accented examiners.

****

and then life starts all over again when my jap class starts on weds.

i have been calculating.

each intermediate class takes about 2 months and i have to seat through another 2 more of them. And if all goes well with me passing every single exam, I would reach pre-advanced level by May next year.

but as they say, we should never count our chickens before the eggs are hatched...or smth like that.

I cant really rmb.

anyway.

In the pre-advanced stage there are 3 levels and each take about 4 months. And like i said, if everyth goes as planned, I would be in the advanced stage by may 2008. and since there is only one advanced stage that takes another 4 mths, I would be able to tell you to piss off and screw yourself in jap like as if i was commenting the weather right in front of your face and you wldnt know it.

But i really shouldnt be thinking so far ahead into my future.

for all we know, I might be knocked down by a lorry and get pancaked to within an inch of my life tmr when i go off to watch The Banquet. ( which btw, the movie critics swear its the movie of the year. How many of those have we got those now?)

Or I get discovered by some hot-shot modelling agency and get hoisted off to Milan for modelling training and strut down the runway during fashion week 2007 in New York wearing some crazy creation of Alexander Mcqueen waving to the cam and saying " Hi Mom! Look! no undies!" or so on.

and start snorting drugs and landing up in every hospital in New York claiming " Over-Exhaustion" and " Dehydration" ala Lindsay Lohan.

and become the best friend of Paris Hilton for 3 months before I join the outcast group of Nicole Ritchie and Nicky Hilton. That is if nicole ritchie can still be seen what with her disappearing right before our every eyes.

....

I think I have been cooped up in the house for too long now.

But hey, its my right dream.

Oh yes!! I passed my japanese exam!!!!

Not with a fantastic grade, mind. but at least i didnt take 4 months to get to the next level.

Intermediate 2, Here I come!

***

Caught a movie today. have a gawk.

Unbelievably Hilarious. And the plot is so simple. but thats the thing with all japanese movies i guess. you can have your hidden tiger and dragon claws etc etc and i shall have my umizaru.thanks very much.

the thing is that japanese movies come to singapore over 7 months after they are shown in Japan and whatever japanese movie that you have watched in singapore are alrd very stale news. why cant they show the movie the same time as Japan?

oh and Deathnote is showing on the 19th of October. GREAT.

But I suppose none of you are into the Jap Culture huh. Korean stuff are very "in" nowadays. no offense mind but if i have to watch another lead actress who suffer from Cancer/ Stroke etc etc and her lover is a long lost brother im going to scream.

Now as oppose to that, watching cute japanese airhead girls doing mad stuff are much more entertaining. ( not porn!).

One day im going to pack my bags and head off to Japan to live there forever. As soon as I get the moolah and the language down pat. Just you see. Im not anti-singaporeanish but this place is just so...stiffling. Too much talk but too little done. And everybody riding rings around themselves and not seeing that life is actually for living and not getting stuck in an office at shenton way having the shite yelled out of you by your fat bald boss. or contemplating suicide if you didnt get an A grade for every subject.

I swear, this isnt an excuse for my laziness and incompetence.

...

well. not only I suppose.

Ah well.

either Japan or New York anyway.

what else? oh. I saw Hirzi and Izyan today at Cine Leisure. got a shock i suppose. I have been in out of school mode for so long meeting people from that realm just kinda jerked me off-balance. was not shell-shock enough to smile(kinda) and wave.

I love the hols. There is just absolutely nothing to do. Superb.

tata.

Many thanks to the weather im suffering from the mother of all colds. god. I cant even string a sentence together without whipslashing my coversationer with copious amt of you-know-whats.

as in the green slimy stuff. Too much information? I think so too.

I recently realized I'm very shallow. And that is kind of mortifying as all my life i have always tried to hang onto to the higher end of the middle class stratification level by Being Different. Contrary if u so wish. And then just like a revelation this morning while i was stuck in bed buried by about 3 million used tissue balls, it hit me with such a force i literally felt all breath leave me.

Like as if Kenny Yong was piggy-backing CSS and rushing towards you with a body slam.

Not a good thought when you are alrd semi-depressed.

And then just to compound things along I recieved my shite results yesterday and realized that the mystical, totem guarded, fairy-like prophecy/legend etc etc of a grade Z actually bloody BLOODY existed.

Worse: people actually got it. A fool in year 2 actually got 2 of it. I didnt. fuck.

Fool that I was (am), I have always thot the grade Z was a C-class scam that lecturers half-heartedly try to persuade their angsty students to work hard. Jeezus. I have been acursed by The Curse of the Smug Dude. So I have.

No. my grades actually arent that bad as such. No need for the Subs and certainly with a GPA above 2.5. But just fucking barely.

And I worked my ass off for this fucking exam!

Pissed,angry people who try to display their teenage angst gets nobody anywhere. But damnmit!!!! I am so very dissapointed.

Luckily I'm tough. Gimme a few days in bed with a 2 stone tin of biscuits assorted and i will be resilent enough to bounce-back.

Shallowness that I can deal with. Well, not really but what am i supposed to do? wear smart long sleeve shirts with john lennon specs and quote up-your-arse quotes from Raymond Carver novels? i suppose shallowness is just a certain element that makes me who I am, but so i am supposed to be consoled by that now?

Riding rings around myself can be fucking tiring.

And then I realised that none of this will matter anyway because in a hundred year's time we will all be dead.

We are not here for a long time, but a good time, etc etc.

But still.

We humans can be so undecided on what we bloody want. Sometimes, we dont even noe it.

*sigh.*

こんにちは

ボクの育った家は子供の頃から常に音楽が流れていました。
アース･ウインド＆ファイアーなど80年代のディスコミュージックから山下達郎さんを始めとするJポップまでたくさんの音楽を聴いて育ちました。またテレビの歌番組も大好きだったので、放送の翌日は校庭にある朝礼台がボクのステージだった。

“子供の頃から歌うことが大好きだったし、今も大好きです”

東京に出てきて6年がアッという間に過ぎ、満足のいく音楽活動が出来ています。
メンバーや周りのスタッフ、そしてファンのみんなには、こんなに恵まれた環境にいられる事をすごくすごく感謝しています。
ボクは、歌うことだけじゃなく、ギターやピアノを弾くことも大好きだし、物づくりに関わりたいと以前から思っていました。
今回、表現者（パフォーマー）としてだけでなく創造者（クリエイター）として、ソロワークに挑戦させてもらうことになりました。
ボクが好きなものや大切にしてきたものを、みなさんにストレートに伝えたいと思っているし、受け止めてくれると信じています。
もちろんグループとしての活動もボクにとっては、幹となるとても大切なものなので、ソロワークと平行して活動します。

今までとは、違った形でみなさんに逢えることをとても楽しみにしています。

橘 慶太

....

I am SO THRILLED!!

so im back from hongkong and i have to say it was a very very fruitful trip.

not retail therapy wise, mind.

I MET 2 FAMOUS JAPANESE POP SINGERS AT THE AIRPORT AND GOT THEIR AUTOGRAPHS!!! OMGGGGGGGGG!!!

but no point telling any of you people anyway because none of u all will know them. but just so you know that i met famous people. *smug*

and i was only there for 3 DAYS.

talk about fate/kismet/my destiny *delete as appropriate.

so a friend recently got fired off her job by her evil demanding boss. And another one was talking about selling his soul to the job. That is exactly why this time you didnt see me running off asunder, hoiking up my pants roaring around For A Job. I got the same treatment the last time and believe me after that you wld nvr want to take up a part time job again.

Therefore I am my own boss this time and im happily kachinking myself all the way to revoltage every 2 weeks or so to get myself a tee or a pair of skinny jeans just to keep myself happy.

I never did believe in all the Working for a Big Boss advantages. people who swear by it usually are ass suckers of said Big Boss. Fair enough i was once gullable and fell for all that crap, but u wldnt catch me now. No Missus.

****

I was in HK for 3 days and i realised it was more a crush course in the What-Was-In-&-What-Was-On-Its-Way-Out fashion diploma then a relaxing soothing 72 hr retail therapy experience. Jeezus. We are SO out of date around here.

It was a good thing i brought my outrageous shiny chandelier tee because i just about managed to become one of them. Just.

But can i just say that you are an absolutely NOBODY if your hair has not been uplifted to within an inch of its life. Therefore, me and my flat straight hair was a right sight in HK. The people must have thought i had just landed off from a completely different planet with the stares they were giving me.

They are right of course.

when i said " uplifted" i pretty much mean that your hair has to be of the heavy duty, high maintenance variety. the hk people texture permed/digital permed/curled/ dreadlocked *delete as appropriate their mob. and i dun just mean the gals. the guys there do it too. I was there for 3 days and i did not see even one guy without curly/texture permed hair.

It was all about the dramatic effect.

flatheads, punk spike and mouhawks however, are Not On. and surprise surprise, isnt that what all the dudes of singapore are sporting with aplomb now.

So the sooner i get enough moolah im off to explode my hair.

god. their clothes are so much nicer than all that thrash they sell in S'pore. okay, so if your a brand whore than thats fine. but im talking about the underground brands here. Your author here is pretty much all about underground brands. None of your Ripcurl/Quicksilver/OP/Zara/Topman for me. Im more your Eighty-Twenty, Revol Militia kind of guy.

not keen and wearing something that everyone is wearing you see. no wonder i spend half my life listening to my friends saying " god, ur so anal".

and the girls are so fucking pretty. GORGEOUS. it would put everyone to shame.

ah well.

can someone up there please speed up our trend here please. thank you.

Thought of the Day: I hate the bloody school for being so " Third Secret of Fatimah" about the bloody release date of the exam results. Like fucking tell us alrd.

Steve Irwin my man died a terrible death yesterday.

Observe a moment of silence please.

***

Oh its so sad. No more crocodile hunter on Animal Planet= no more hidding under sheets and eating chocolate coated popcorn for an hour every saturday afternoon.

And to be killed by a stingray! Jeez. He's dealed with Crocs the size of a Sampan, sharks, poisonous snakes and to be only say adios by a harmless ( well almost) wobbly free floating marine organism.

As they say now, its always the quiet ones.

My dad made his rare appearance in the house yst and promptly broke down.Like as in literally. Apparently He's a HUGE FAN of Mr Irwin. I wldnt know that of course
*scoff*. But i have to say nothing makes my day a better one then to see a grown five foot seven tall man cry his heart out. Absolutely Marvellous. Especially when your dad is a right bastard.

So in honour of all Mr Irwin fans out there, I would be on a strict Stingray eating diet from today onwards for the week. DIE YOU STINGRAYS! DIE! That, i suppose is my way to mourn the great man. Eat the guy that ate him.Roar.

Daniel Vosovic is coming to town but i have no idea when! Its driving me N.U.T.S. Jeez so if any of you do know when please tell me okay.

And on a conclusion, I helped my friend's brother write a qualifying compo for a place at the Cambridge University. Im honoured. Therefore i gave him a 15 percent discount. He only me paid me about 80 bucks. The title was really really wierd though.

" write a note to your future room mate about a personal experience that tells him/her something about you"

Like WTH RIGHT! For a start,I didnt even know what format to write in, like as in a prose or a letter? "a note" is just so VAGUE! nevermind i was already completely baffled by the title.

And secondly, if half the nation's 20 year olds are submitting stories with the same title, mine (or rather my friend's bro)has to stand out because they only took in 20 percent of the people. and reading about how your dog/grandmother/3rd cousin tiwce removed died and change to become a better person is just so dreadfully cliched.

But unlike others, i am a genius. ( sorry, didnt meant to make you puke)

So therefore, i wrote that i was a lesbian. Now that is such a Come-Look-At-Me factor. i didnt wrote that i was gay because gay has been done to death alrd. Lesbianism ,however, still get people hot under the collar.

And I did get a great kick out of it. Superb. Writing about how i hated my D-CUP boobs and stalking my pretty flute playing senior ,and how i have learnt to accept myself for who i am even if i wore Superman boxers instead of lacey victoria's secret knickers and got called a "Tyke" by the boys makes for good practice writing.

I just hope the Brits would be able to accept it though. God i hope i dont give those old dodgers a Cardiac Arrest.

Alright now. Till then. The hols has barely started and im getting bored alrd.

May Friday come quickly and whisk me away.

I went on a one man shopping spree yesterday from 10am till 6pm.

It was great.

Too great.

I spent a 3 figure sum within a half hour.

And no. The first figure doesnt start with a "1".

This is EXACTLY what happens when a shopper ( or spendthrift, if u insist on calling a spade a spade) gets cooped up too long.

So im suffering from "Shopper's guilt" now. You know, that nauseous feeling of hysteria when u stare at your wallet and remembered yesterday's frenzied money throwing and feel like drowning yourself.
...

* places face in hand and moans*

omygod all those money that i SAVED from July till now all GONE after yesterday. I am but Suicidal.

How am i SUPPOSE to feed myself for this month?

i had better start to learn how to eat grass, so.

*****

I watched 2 movies consecutively yesterday- Lovewrecked and The Devil wears Prada. Lovewrecked was...well, what can i say? The absolute textbook version of a "Teen Flick". Hot hunk? check. Pretty girl who thinks she's hideous but everyone loves her? Check. Nice clothes,snappy lines and hot single from a debuting band? check, check check.

I have nothing against teen flick actually. Who am i to say anything when im a teen (barely) myself? But it certainly would have been more entertaining if it wasnt so goddamn predictable.

But nothing can be worse once you have watched High School Musical. Absolutely Nothing.

Therefore I have to say that The Devil Wears Prada was Fab.

Meryl Streep was so scary. if she was my boss i would have just popped my clogs after the first 15 mins. And the clothes! goodness. I dont even know where to start.

Fashion is a bitchy whore.

Suits me to the core, mind.

So yes, if any of you havent watched prada yet, i strongly recommend it. ( Great value all around; we would certainly come back next year etc etc.)

And i was going back home after my day of indulgence when i met melissa yet again at the bus stop where she was off to meet her muse. Had a lovely chat with her and she was mouth openly appalled at the amount of bags i was carrying ( a.k.a the stuff i bought)

And I suppose i have to tell you all now when i told her i spent a 3 figure sum she completely lost her power of speech. Sorry.

But if as acoording to Mr Yap we would seperated into different classes nxt term via CDSes, Melissa and I would be in the same class too! She's taking french! Lovely. at least i noe there's someone whos relatively nice who's going to be in the same class as me now. Thats something to think about when i get the horrors of next semester's class shifting. And i suppose there's effie too. SUPERB!

Thought of the day: Skinny pants are glam, but it is not possible to eat, seat or bend with them on. You just have to wear it standing or walking.

Okay im off to sules myself now.