Because Now= Greatness.

"Excuse me, may I know where the escalator is?"

"Its right beside you sir." blind ass.

" Can I have the booster chair please? I'm seating at the front row and I can't see"

"Im very sorry sir, but the booster seats are only for children age 5 and below."-cheapskate!!!

"Are you deaf? I told you I want mustard and cheese on half the hotdog only! And why are the nachos brown? arent they suppose to be gold?"

" Im very sorry sir, but the nachos we sell are supposed to be brown and about the hotdog, maybe you would like another replacement?" -DIE, DIE DIE YOU STUPID PRETENTIOUS FUCKHEADDDDDD!!!!!

***

thus a summary of what I actually have to endure at work for 4 bucks per hour pay. But Im not complaining. Im professional. Even if the customers are all evidently stupid pretentious fuckwits and have never met my gang from Orchard Road and Jalan Basar, I still their crap anyway. I'm great that way.

But they better pray I dont recognize their fugly faces in a silent alley at 3am in the morning.

However, I still like my job. Love actually, even though it is back breaking work for such a low pay. Many many many reasons which I cannot say as this is, after all sadly, a public blog. But anyone who want a reasonably bitchy workplace with great work environment and selectively friendly collegues should work at GV.

The perks, as mentioned in previous post, more than makes up the meagre pay.

Well, thats all for tonight, gotta study for jap test tmr. Wish me luck everyone!~ ^-^

PS: Valerie, hope you enjoyed Freedom Writers today ^-^

GV

So I recently landed myself a job at GV Tampines.

It is mother **** tiring. The boss is a balding lump of lard who took it real hard when he saw my long tresses and literally demanded that I chop off my locks immediately after 30 seconds into my first day.

My timetable reads that I start my job at 6pm and knock off at 4am. Hence knocking back my regular 10pm-7am sleeping schedule into utter chaos and turning me into a wild haired, sexily glazed male version of Eva Longoria.

My fellow collegues are stupid bitches whereby good friends bitch about each other the moment their backs are turned and I listen with great entertainment as they massacre each other in front of me and they don't even noe it.

Its bad enough when you are a coniving back stabbing bitch. But when you are a stupid one? Thats just fucking sad.

Well, but it isnt all bad I suppose. All the popcorn i can eat and coke I can drink and a free movie every 3 working days. Not to mention the unexpected amount of eye candys among the bengs and lians who practically live in the tampines mall arcade.

And my sexy working partner who keep me gorgeously, breathlessly brain dead whenever we work together.

Oh, and i get to wear a walkie talkie too! Love it. Makes me feel like a sexy spy every time I hook it up to my belt and don corleone into it.

So well, thats an update for you. Tata bitches.

jaded.

All my life I have always felt like I operate on a different wavelength from everyone.

Is it a crime to be the person that i am and not go with the flow like the 9827263463 others with the A'level cert/short spikey crop/5566 fanatic?

Why do people take advantage of friendliness and treat you like dirt when they practically lick the gloryhole of people who treats them like dirt? Is it the ego rush that someone actually talk to you like a fellow human being or are we all just sick contrarys at heart?

It seemed like i got stranded when everyone boarded the one way trip to uber cynicalism. Well life have finally decided to not take the piss out of me and sent a boat out to me on my estranged island of naiveness. I am sick and tired of trying to be the nice back-up friend that everyone don't give a piss shit of when life is a dream, but could always be relied on when clouds start to gather ominously.

I feel so stupid and ashamed of my idiotic naive self for having faith that one day if I wait long enough, everything will take a change for a better and i wouldnt always have to go to bed with a heavy dull ache in my heart that just keeps getting bigger with time and I'm sorry I just can't take it any longer- lets face it, everyone is selfish and shallow when the going gets tough and nobody got the balls to continue their fake facade.

I give up. I won't be there when anyone needs help any longer. I won't be that person who introduce himself when we meet for the first time. I won't even try to be your friend, now that I think about it.

Cause in the end, they are never worth the trouble.

Crying honey? Thats what god created chocolate for. And hey if that doesnt work, there is always that cut throat razor in your drawer.

-

Conversation with nana on msn last night was thought intriguing.

Maybe its true. I have spent such a big part of my life trying to fit in that I no longer gave a damn about what I want in life. Thoughts of how people view me, how I should look, behave etc etc. have taken over my own priorities that I didnt even realised it until today.

It took me 18 years.

...

sorry. didnt meant to be melodramatic.

I don't know what I want for myself now that realisation of my own foolishness have finally hit me after so long. What are my dreams? What are more goals? What do I even want from life?
Maybe somebody else should have taken over my place and get a go of how life really is like, cause currently maybe I don't deserve it.

But realising a problem and admitting to it is the first step to a solution after all and I hope that I will finally grow up, mature and be someone, instead of the needy, shallow, self concious 10 year old kid stuck in a 18 year old's body.

because we're hot

Because we're are hot and we know it.

kinda.

Job

I have been on a hardboil american series fest.

You name it. LOST, Desperate Housewives, Prison Break. Thanks to the internet im on par with the american viewers. All i need now is to find an interest somewhere inside me to watch Grey's Anatomy.

So I think I found a job. Well. sort of. Applied for NYDC and the only glitch in the deal was a 6 month contract that could very well threaten my non-existanish social life. 4 days a week with a minimum of 4and a half working hours per session. Accept? Reject?

Thing is my mom is kinda against it. Ditto my aunt and her aunt and her neighbour's fren after my mom spreaded the word down the entire family tree that I Got A Job. Therefore chances are if I do get the job, Im going to take it.

Bree's gay son was right. " when you start pushing us down one road with all your might, the other road would start to look very appealing."

But well, do you think i sld take the job if I get it? I mean, according to the photo-fy teacher second year is going to be kinda busy in an understated way. But seeing as its him thats hardly reliable source of information. Never trust a man who has a shiny bald head and a 50cent comb in his back pocket.

Give me your thoughts guys. im gonna need it.

blabber.

I always thought that resting on your laurels could be just about the worse thing that anybody could do- We should never be satisfied with have now as there are always greater things out there up for grabs that we should fight for. And I have always lived my life like that. I am never satisfied with what I have or achieved for too long, convinced that there would always be that illusive somebody out there who is beating me by a mile. And I want to catch up with that stupid fucker and beat the shite out of him.

The thing is, after I have surpassed him, another one would just pop up quickly and the whole cycle would just repeat by itself and its so tiring to never ever be the top dog at anything. I am tired. I know the only person that we should compete with is ourselves but thats it- You would never ever be able surpass yourself ultimately. Every success would just stack up like a slush pile as you beat the shite out of yourself to "out-better" the previous achievement. And its kinda pointless if you think of it that way.

Besides, you don't get the cheap thrill out of watching a dozen pairs of jealous glares as you exterminate your competitors one by one.

Not that I would know of course.

Is this what it means to be a perfectionist?

Anyway, so as i was saying, maybe its time I stop beating myself out and appreciate everything that I have achieved instead of furrowing my eyebrows and wondering if anybody could surpass the record that I have set. Maybe I should stop thinking about trying to be the best in everything ( im not).

But then im scared i would let myself go so much I would never ever catch up.

So which choice should I choose? I don't know.

But knowing me, i would probably choose the one that would let me beat myself out.

argh, Im so,so confused.

waiting

He sat still in his silent bedroom in the dead of the night, listening to his pounding heart, wondering when would the tears trapped inside him ever release the pain and confusion that he had smothered silently, unconsciously, over the years.

Why couldn’t he be like everyone else? Why was he different? Why couldn’t he have a normal relationship? Why must he be ostracized? It was no use asking questions that he knew the answers to. It was more of a matter of acceptance which he couldn’t face that was the problem. Moreover, it doesn’t help when he couldn’t find someone or something to blame it all on. He was his own problem, but he hadn’t asked for it in the first place- It came looking for him.

Sterility is a great veneer to shield him from the rest of the world. Nobody could hurt him, nobody would ever know anything. But at the same time, it cuts him off from the people who cared about him whom he knew naught of, potential relationships he could have developed extinguished by his icy coolness. It was much better for the rest of the world to acknowledge him as the obnoxious kid and leave him alone- In that way, he would have a good reason to explain to himself why he should never be to close to another human being.

But the thing is, that’s exactly what he wants. And he knew deep down would never get it. But it was much better to say that he wasn’t given the chance.

And he continued to wait silently day by day, for everything to change for the better.